Well here I am again... same bitchy mood, same biitchy time. This time though its more about peoples general attitude twords others and the world... My goddess... What is the point of being such an asshole to people ALL THE TIME! Why can't people bring more good to the world instead of corning it and trying to bring others down with them? Whatever... well I didn't get to spend valentines day with mah luv like he SAID he would be there.. I don't even know why it bothers me so much. I guess its all the mushy love people and all the bitchy whiney people that are getting to me... I just wanted to fall down and cry... Gee I wonder if I have any happy news... my webpages are nice... uh... Theres actually something for dinner tonight... Ah well i guess your all just out of luck... Goodnight and stop the violence...
No idea what im thinking right now. o.O First of all I wonder why I feel so blasted quilty when other people are hurt or upset. x.x Especially when its none of my concern. Sooo I've been having lovely dreams latly. :) So nice I havne't wanted to get out of bed the past few days. o.O Which would be okay if I didn't have to worry about missin mah love. And im sure you people are tired of hearing about him but thats your own fault isn't it! :p Bleh who wants to listen to me talk when im half alive anyway! Goodnight and die if you bite!
Well I must say... i am definetly the oddest most strange person in the world... I give SPEACHES for crying out loud! And I enjoy it! Inspiration... I adore giving people inspiration, making their day, putting a smile on their face and knowing I had at least made someones day a good one. ^.^;; Okay so I haven't had enough sleep lately! o.o;;; But really im in such a pleasant mood today other then yestderday and the day before when I was about to fall over and croak! I did see my love, and ooohh how that did wonders. A few kind words from him and all the evils in the world just fly away... If you call me melodramatic one more time im ganna whack you with a stick! >:p So anyways I guess im thru, I just wanted to chatter! Goodday and stay the hell away from mah cheesecakes!
I... Feel... Useless... And not just your geral I have nothing to do feeling but I wish I could just shut down all my webpages, stop talking to all my friends, leave everything behind... crawl into bed and Just die. Unfortunetly theres this little battle in my head going on... 'You idiot Skye you know you don't want to die! You have a destiny to fullfil!'.. 'Oh who am I fooling why can't I just DIE!'... really though, What is the reason I fight so damn hard to live thru each day?! WHY do I keep going?! I feel like my life is not important, like I dont matter to anyone or thing.... Life is just so difficult right now. sleeping forever would be great... but some stupid thing inside my head won't let me end it all so i just suffer thru each day hoping things will get better.... Ugh.. I haven't felt this horrible in months. I thought I was getting better you know... Finnaly defeating depression, getting my life together. Nothing even happened this time to set me off... I just wake up wishing I never did... And theres noone for me to really talk to... Oh yeah theres tons of people who feel just like me and understand but they have their own problems to deal with. And the one person I CAN talk to about anything isn't around when I need him... And it really sucks when I feel this bad cause doubt if im even important enough for him to even be online... >.<;; I HATE feeling useless and like I don't matter.. I can't STAND doubting my love or anything else for that matter.. I just want all the damn pain to go away...
Let is be known Skye is not a quiter... Lord knows I am a nutcase though. I can't believe im actually working out a plan to set up that damnable contest again after all the crap people put me thru with it... But I can't freaking help it! Every since the day i quit its been bugging the hell out of me and it won't go away! I am NOT a quiter! I will not let some bitchy children stop me from doing something cool for other people! o.O;; Im trying to work the bugs out and make it less 'Yell at Skyeable' but I just know theres STILL going to be some lil bastards that are going to find some problems with it... I am trying to give people some credit at least, You all can't possibly be THAT bloody immature. Of course my faith in people is always shot down. O_o; "Sorry Skye but the majority of the human race is a bunch of dumb assholes and will never learn the real joys of life!" Sorry im ranting... Im still steamed about some of the stuff said. x.x I amnuts.. I shouldn't even try and do that contest again. But I just can't quit! So here we go again... Will Skye's contest finally be a sucess? Will the people still be overly bitchy about the whole thing? Will Skye ever have peice of mind? They say three times is a charm... Until next time! ^.~
Im missing my love today... o.O... Its only been oh... 6 days since I've last seen him. Its not that long really but id prefer some real quality time with him for once. *growly* I am almost willing to get that job at the evil Apple foods so i can be with him on his birthday but I don't know... Swallow my pride and better judgement to be with mah love ooor hope I get ahold of cash n transportation by the end of march. o.O; Fat bloody chance! So until I can take my lil trip to be with him I have to deal with seeing him the few times he does pop online... And thats few and far between now. Its like he only shows up once or twice a week. Im being selfish I know... @_@; He has a life other then the internet unlike me *le sweatdrop* I can't help it though.. Im just so damn lonely.
So well... We had a horrible Ice storm today and it knocked the power out for the WHOLE freaking day! So I pretty much freezed my lil popcicle ass off! Whoo hoo and my demon cat is STILL out there raoming around.. lord only knows whats hes doing.. but anyways! :p
My mind is all a working on loyalty today! Maybe because someone had the audacity to say I would ever betray a person... Puh-lease... I am the most LOYAL most true friend anyone could ever have... I would die for my friends if I had to! The only time I would ever "Go after" one of my friends is if they seriously hurt me or someone else... and not in one of the stupid ways.. I mean like something so horrible that I would be frightened to even be in the same room with them. o.O;;
I dunno... Loyalty and trust has always been so important to me. Like family... GODS I wish my family actually had a sense of loyalty! My grandmother whom I swear is satan (hey if im a demon grandchild then shes satan) would actually disown me from her family just cause a guy from another race was my escort mind you not date somewhere... Puh-lease... and she had the gaul to say I did that to hurt her... And now when my aunt needs help with her two babies, she won't go over there... She needs some serious mental help. Lord help me if I ever turn out like her.. o.O;;
Well anyways, im thru! Goodnight and bed bugs for all!
A well... what is on my mind today... The evil of working at Apple Foods!! *gags!* I need a butt load of money by the end of march but my only option unless some miracle happens is to work and the local grocery store. Whoo hoo, cranky people, slow as hell co-workers and next to nothing pay... The price I pay to be with mah love! :)
My intuitive powers tell me something scary is in the air soon... And since its still screw skyelight year I can only hope its something not so bad! Of course with the threat of my cable connection being cut off I won't be so lucky! I should prolly read my tarot cards and see whats in my future!! *scary music plays*
Anyways im not interesting today.. half asleep! Goodday and keep away!